Dear friends,
I know as it has been so long when I wrote my last blog. But guys I have not asked anything to her coz it was just not in my hand. Or I could say it was pretty much out of my courage. But now I have decided that her birthday is gone and now I'll not stay in touch with her. If she wants she can call or message but I wont do until its too much necessary. I know as it is quite difficult for me to do, but I'll try my best to do the same.
As I feel that I have already had enough of tears and I have to get separate from them. Otherwise, I'll stay like this and do something reckless to get rid of this pain. I know may be, am going too far now or may be m saying too much but I can't resist that. Few days ago she just made a fuss of a Facebook status.
She was trying to make me understood that I should not post status like this but she could have taken a different route for this. It hurts me too much when she says anything like that.
Why she always say things like this,when she knows it hurts me...? Why she did not think even for a little blink of a second that she is being so harsh on me...? Why she always shows attitude to me...? Why she always shows that I am wrong all the time..? Why she always shows that she has all the rights of mine and I have got none of her's...? Why a little move or a simple comment of her broke me into tears and she doesn't even care...?
It was her birthday last weekend and I was supposed to say her goodbye, or I could just be able to let her go. I do not have that much courage but I did the necessary thing..I love her and I wish she could understand that. Love of her life would keep her happy. And I wish that she would have known that how much do I loved her.
On her birthday, I did not had enough money to buy her a gift, but somehow I manage to keep some and then I went to a shop with a friend of mine[whose birthday I forgot and wished her too late :'( ] and bought an ear tops for her. But suddenly I came to know that she was coming with her sibling. Now, the thing was like I have to gift her something decent, I can't give her right away in front of her sis. So I decided to buy her another thing and I bought a statue of Lord Ganpati for her. Even a day before her birthday I took her to nearest restaurant for lunch. We did spent some good time together...
Her birthday never was an occasion for me but it was a festival for me. I always wear a new thing on her birthday for all three years. Our friends used to tease me for this, and I always find happiness and joy in that. I am so fool, everyone used to laugh on this. I am gonna miss all of this...
I know that love can not be selfish, so I don't wanna be a leech to her, who'll be sucking blood out of her veins. So, that is why I just wanna leave everything on her and also on the almighty of all.
"I Loved u and will love you like always. But can't see you crying because of me,because I did some foolish mistakes..and I can't also see you no-more with someone else. I have to leave somehow someday. I am planning to go abroad so that I can not be in touch, anyhow, and I hope you'll get married to whom you want..My love and wishes will be there with you always.."
This is the last message I have in my mind for her. I can not message her this so I have left it here, so that sooner or later she'll read it and understand everything.
I don't want to ruin the friendship so I just want to do everything peacefully and gracefully.
Love u all & take care
Gulshan Mathur
I know as it has been so long when I wrote my last blog. But guys I have not asked anything to her coz it was just not in my hand. Or I could say it was pretty much out of my courage. But now I have decided that her birthday is gone and now I'll not stay in touch with her. If she wants she can call or message but I wont do until its too much necessary. I know as it is quite difficult for me to do, but I'll try my best to do the same.
As I feel that I have already had enough of tears and I have to get separate from them. Otherwise, I'll stay like this and do something reckless to get rid of this pain. I know may be, am going too far now or may be m saying too much but I can't resist that. Few days ago she just made a fuss of a Facebook status.
She was trying to make me understood that I should not post status like this but she could have taken a different route for this. It hurts me too much when she says anything like that.
Why she always say things like this,when she knows it hurts me...? Why she did not think even for a little blink of a second that she is being so harsh on me...? Why she always shows attitude to me...? Why she always shows that I am wrong all the time..? Why she always shows that she has all the rights of mine and I have got none of her's...? Why a little move or a simple comment of her broke me into tears and she doesn't even care...?
It was her birthday last weekend and I was supposed to say her goodbye, or I could just be able to let her go. I do not have that much courage but I did the necessary thing..I love her and I wish she could understand that. Love of her life would keep her happy. And I wish that she would have known that how much do I loved her.
On her birthday, I did not had enough money to buy her a gift, but somehow I manage to keep some and then I went to a shop with a friend of mine[whose birthday I forgot and wished her too late :'( ] and bought an ear tops for her. But suddenly I came to know that she was coming with her sibling. Now, the thing was like I have to gift her something decent, I can't give her right away in front of her sis. So I decided to buy her another thing and I bought a statue of Lord Ganpati for her. Even a day before her birthday I took her to nearest restaurant for lunch. We did spent some good time together...
Her birthday never was an occasion for me but it was a festival for me. I always wear a new thing on her birthday for all three years. Our friends used to tease me for this, and I always find happiness and joy in that. I am so fool, everyone used to laugh on this. I am gonna miss all of this...
I know that love can not be selfish, so I don't wanna be a leech to her, who'll be sucking blood out of her veins. So, that is why I just wanna leave everything on her and also on the almighty of all.
"I Loved u and will love you like always. But can't see you crying because of me,because I did some foolish mistakes..and I can't also see you no-more with someone else. I have to leave somehow someday. I am planning to go abroad so that I can not be in touch, anyhow, and I hope you'll get married to whom you want..My love and wishes will be there with you always.."
This is the last message I have in my mind for her. I can not message her this so I have left it here, so that sooner or later she'll read it and understand everything.
I don't want to ruin the friendship so I just want to do everything peacefully and gracefully.
Love u all & take care
Gulshan Mathur
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