All I ever want is to see you...to love you...

Dear Friends,

 As, I promised I am going to show you the song, I wrote myself. If you have read first few pages then you must be able to relate the one, I am going to refer in below lines. But first I tell you that I am still a coward, couldn't find enough courage to say that. Well, hope you guys will like it the way I wrote it.

All I ever want is to see you...to love you...

 
All I want is to see you...baby
All I want is to love you...baby..
oh baby...oooh baby baby...you were mine....
oh baby...ooooh babe..you're still mine...

you got my soul in you...baby...
you got me moult in you...baby...

you, used to tease me around...
when we were young, you kissed me around...
long back, we played harmonium in your town...
but now you made me, you made me drawn...

All I want is to see you...baby
All I want is to love you...baby..
oh baby...oooh baby baby...you were mine....
oh baby...ooooh babe..you're still mine...

I touched your lips..I touched your cheeks..
and your smile is that...all I seeks...
that made you blush...that made you shine...
that is all I want...in my whine...

you got my soul in you...baby...
you got me moult in you...baby...

All I want is to see you...baby
All I want is to love you...baby..
oh baby...oooh baby baby...you were mine....
oh baby...ooooh babe..you're still mine...

you made me kissed..you made me missed...
this is just a wind, that I seized...
I was lost coz I missed you the most...
Am still here coz I loved you the most..

you got my soul in you...baby...
you got me moult in you...baby...

Yes I know, I know it all...
I am in love..coz you stole me all...

keep my heart and keep my soul..
coz I ain't need it nomore...
I am sick but I am strong...
and my mind I freezed that all...

but still...........stillllllll......

All I want is to see you...baby
All I want is to love you...baby..
oh baby...oooh baby baby...you were mine....
oh baby...ooooh babe..you're still mine...

Hope you guys have liked it.....There is something that was told to me sometime back by someone I appreciate in my elders is that "You have to be tough some day, why not start today". Well wait for the next addition in the chain. 

 Till then Live happy...Live Alive.

 

Love u all & take care
Gulshan Mathur

Night before the train reached Chitrakot

Dear Friends,

 So, how is going everyone..?????

Well today I am not going to write anything about my feelings, but today I am gonna share some beautiful moments of my journey, "Journey to Chitrakot ".

 Our family own a Atithishala(guest house) in Chitrakot. I guess all of you are aware of the mythological importance of the place, but still for those who are not I am giving some details in short.

 As we all knows that Lord Rama went to jungle for 14years. So, this is the place where they spent their 12years of that period. Well my Great Grand Father owned this place somewhere in late 50’s. Since, then this place is ours. Now, our family is looking for the renovation of this place.

 Well me & my whole family went to this Holy place for pooja(Worship). Now, when my family met with other families of mother’s siblings...it was a whole new joy and vibes going on all around. All my younger cousins were going in other compartment of the train but I and my close cousin brother were going together in another compartment. It was a whole night to travel. So, I and my brother planned silently from others that we’ll spend our night in talking about each other college life and love life.

 At some point of time, it seems to be a bit hard as the train was 5hours late. But waiting for a train at platform has its own fun. So, we were doing so much fun together at the platform. Well at last train arrived and we boarded in. But train did not move an inch, as departure time was delayed by another 1 hour. My married cousin sister was in another train which departed on time as it was 8pm but we were waiting.  Finally at 8:30 of evening the long awaited night started. Both of us started talking about our colleges. And then I asked him to start first as he knows about me, he asked me from where should he start and I told him to start from his very first day of his college.

 So, he started and said how he made his all friends. He told me about his guys and his pals as well. Then he narrated his love that life how it came to its existence. He told me that he liked this girl from the very beginning of his college days but because of his hesitation, he did not started from the first day but he took his chances when the best he can take from the situations. After getting her intro and everything, he tried to be her best friend and after few months he became her best friend. The time he spent with her, he came close to her and he started loving her but at the same time he came to know that she likes someone else. Worst thing was that this someone else was none other than his best pal (one of those few guys he made friends in college).

 This story came to an end with some drama. Well..well, All I have to say about that girl is that she became a pain in his life. Well now I am glad to say that he is relieved and realized that he doesn't love her anymore and plus to this, he came to know the real personality of the girl. So, here is the perfect ending of the story. Now, he is studying hard for his engineering.

 I hope whom so ever is reading will take a learning from all my life's experiences. In my next page I am going to show you a song which is written by me for someone close to my heart, for that please wait till.
So, Its me signing off from here. Till then Live happy. Live Alive.....!!!!   

Tears of Water Drops

Dear friends,

  I know as it has been so long when I wrote my last blog. But guys I have not asked anything to her coz it was just not in my hand. Or I could say it was pretty much out of my courage. But now I have decided that her birthday is gone and now I'll not stay in touch with her. If she wants she can call or message but I wont do until its too much necessary. I know as it is quite difficult for me to do, but I'll try my best to do the same.

 As I feel that I have already had enough of tears and I have to get separate from them. Otherwise, I'll stay like this and do something reckless to get rid of this pain. I know may be, am going too far now or may be m saying too much but I can't resist that. Few days ago she just made a fuss of a Facebook status.
She was trying to make me understood that I should not post status like this but she could have taken a different route for this. It hurts me too much when she says anything like that.


  Why she always say things like this,when she knows it hurts me...? Why she did not think even for a little blink of a second that she is being so harsh on me...? Why she always shows attitude to me...? Why she always shows that I am wrong all the time..? Why she always shows that she has all the rights of mine and I have got none of her's...? Why a little move or a simple comment of her broke me into tears and she doesn't even care...?

 It was her birthday last weekend and I was supposed to say her goodbye, or I could just be able to let her go. I do not have that much courage but I did the necessary thing..I love her and I wish she could understand that. Love of her life would keep her happy. And I wish that she would have known that how much do I loved her.

 On her birthday, I did not had enough money to buy her a gift, but somehow I manage to keep some and then I went to a shop with a friend of mine[whose birthday I forgot and wished her too late :'(   ] and bought an ear tops for her. But suddenly I came to know that she was coming with her sibling. Now, the thing was like I have to gift her something decent, I can't give her right away in front of her sis. So I decided to buy her another thing and I bought a statue of Lord Ganpati for her. Even a day before her birthday I took her to nearest restaurant for lunch. We did spent some good time together...

 Her birthday never was an occasion for me but it was a festival for me. I always wear a new thing on her birthday for all three years. Our friends used to tease me for this, and I always find happiness and joy in that. I am so fool, everyone used to laugh on this. I am gonna miss all of this...

 I know that love can not be selfish, so I don't wanna be a leech to her, who'll be sucking blood out of her veins. So, that is why I just wanna leave everything on her and also on the almighty of all.

 "I Loved u and will love you like always. But can't see you crying because of me,because I did some foolish mistakes..and I can't also see you no-more with someone else. I have to leave somehow someday. I am planning to go abroad so that I can not be in touch, anyhow, and I hope you'll get married to whom you want..My love and wishes will be there with you always.."

This is the last message I have in my mind for her. I can not message her this so I have left it here, so that sooner or later she'll read it and understand everything.

 I don't want to ruin the friendship so I just want to do everything peacefully and gracefully.

Love u all & take care
Gulshan Mathur

Preparation

Hi,
 As in last blog I told you bout my self. Now I am gonna tell you something more. I told you about my family n all nw m gonna tell you about me. As I am pursuing MCA m in 3rd sem n well I am still not done with all the exams of BCA. I do hav a back log for a sub named as TCP/IP prac which is due on next month. I am hoping that I'll do fine and I'll clear this exam, so I can go for convocation this year. I am really excited about that,actually from the beggining we have seen that guys n gals go for their convocation wearing a long black coat with a big black square shape hat. And after receiving their degree they throw their caps in the air that is the most amazing n beautiful part in those movies of the convocation...
 Well I guess you understand now how amazing an amusing that sounds to me. Well the title is preparation and I feel that you guys now knows, for what I am actually preparing these days. But if I would say that you are so wrong then how will you react to it.
 Yes actually it is not..not true that I am only working for my exams these days. Actually their is something happening in my life and I am trying to prepare my self for something big. I was aware of that this time would come some day and I have to face it with all my heart but no one can acutally prepare for something like this. Now you'll think why I lead my self for such situatiuon, sometimes in your life you have to think only for present not for future when you knw that there is no such thing like future. yeah it may not sound good to you, but its true...
 The one I love, faceing some difficulties to have me in her life may be I am kinda annoying her or may be its all the situation is leading towards it...I've learned that if you really love, set it free. I mean if you love someone you should let them go...love is always in your heart if someone can't feel it, you can not bind them or can not impose upon them.
 So now I am preparing myself to take a decision that if she want to go I have to let her go & if she want to stay and keep myself as her good friend I would love to do that. Now its all upto her and to my God both have to decide what is gonna happen next. I've always loved her unconditionally and now I feel that she is actually aware of that I am full heartedly in love with her.
 I can't say that I am prepared for it but I hav to do whatever the need is....

Love u all & take care
Gulshan Mathur

First Blog

Hi All,
 As today I am writing my first blog. So it will be a kind of description of mine.
 My name is Gulshan Mathur and m 23yrs of age m not a celeb or a business man but some day I'll be one of the big names. I know m kind of ambitious not too much but expecting from your life is a kind of good thing. There are many things I believe in...they'll be told as my blog progress.
 I feel we are living in a hypocrite world and no one from outside is making it this like, we are making this like this. Well the reasons will be discussed later on the same.
  I have a small family of four members including me My father Sh.D.P. Mathur, my mother Mrs. Nisha Mathur and my lovely sis Priyanka. My father is an advocate in Patiala House Court, New Delhi. My mother is a real tough character as she is a social worker,she teaches some slum area kids and she manages almost all the household work single handedly.My sis is currently working with Just-Dial Services as an IRO.
N there is actually a special some1 but as always no story can be straight and simple so this is also a bit twisted. And she is a family to me but she doesn't like it.....I mean she doesn't love me...as obvious am in a love trio n trying to be an exception..although I know it is not possible..!!
  "I've loved you from the start..
   No matter how far apart,
   you will always be here in my heart...
  I love you,
  this is no lie..
  I will love you..
  until the day I die..!!"-just to describe my feelings for her

Well its enough for today..c ya
gud nite, sd, tc

Gulshan Mathur